Small Hands, Big Dick

I’d like to give a shout-out to the  GOP candidates for the presidency of the United States of America! Rather than debating policy, they’ve sunk to talking about penis size. Marco Rubio, who recently donned the Drumpf’s style of personal attack as a method to rise in the polls, called out the leading GOP candidate for his “small hands.” The man with the small  hands later called them “beautiful” and, during last night’s GOP debate, delivered the money shot and assured potential voters that his penis size was just fine, “no problem.”

Excellent! I’m so glad the American people can now gauge their choice for president by the size of his  — or her? — dick.

I would like to assure the American people that hand size and penis size are no standards by which to measure the enormity of the dick Tyrantosaurus-Rump/Drump is. As dicks go, he’s the hugest of them all.

Need I add that hand size and genitalia are likewise no standards by which to measure a candidate’s qualifications for any political office?

But if such standards matter to those of you who support the man with “small” hands and a “no problem” penis, then let me make it clear: T-Rump is a Big Dick, and by Big, I mean Huge (YOOOGE!). So by all means, if you want a Big Huge Dick in office and you want to continue to suckle on what his Big Huge Dickhead squirts (because heaven forbid the Drumpf should dribble), enjoy your dregs.

Wow. Even Professor Gaga can sink to the bottom to have a critical close look at those who feed there. Not to worry, qualified as I may thus appear to be, I won’t be joining the GOP candidates in their bid for the presidency.

Anyway, now that that teeny-weeny matter has been settled, it would be refreshing hear something about the candidates’ concrete and realistic plans for running the country.

And once again, I would like to applaud John Kasich for rejecting the opportunity to join in the fray.

P.S. Professor Gaga cares not one bit about presidential genitalia in any literal sense, but I do want the current and future leader of the free world to have the figurative balls to do the job.